The funny thing about being married is that no matter how complicated the responsibilities of making a home and starting a family get, there is great romantic simplicity between husband and wife. The games and the teasing, the flirting and playing hard to get… the mystery of falling in love is but a distant memory. Or at least it was for me…
In the month or so that I’ve been back at the apartment, I’ve been “lucky” enough to find my way into the arms of another woman (twice to be exact). While my mind has told me not to make too much of something purely casual, my heart seems to have never gotten the memo.
Jane has been an acquaintance of mine for several years now. We’ve always had a bit of chemistry between us, but the boundaries of my marriage were always respected. While our interactions have been limited over the years, she has come to learn about the struggles that Mary and I have had. To me, she is more of a friend than just a person I see from time to time. She understands me; she seems to appreciate me for the person I am.
So when an innocent night out at a nearby bar to catch up about a month ago turned into a lot more than either of us expected, my already lopsided world turned completely upside down. My pain over Mary suddenly found its match: excitement about Jane.
After that night, Jane and I started to exchange light yet flirtatious emails. A week seemed to fly by, and once again I found myself at her apartment, with one thing leading to another. But this time we also spent hours lying in bed talking about nothing… and everything. My heart was hooked, and I couldn’t wait to see her again.
The weekend came and with it my promise to visit my parents on Long Island. It was great to see them, and I couldn’t have been any happier…
That is, until I received a text on Saturday night!
“What are you up to?? I’m out with friends but it’s boring. Can I stop by?”
Jane! My heart sank in my chest as I broke the news that I wasnt able to see her. Little did I know that it would have been my last chance to do so for over a month!
Jane took the news well of course…after all I owed her nothing. But then the games began. A day without texting…a random “hello” from me gone unanswered…a paragraph written to make her laugh or tell a funny story responded with a one-word answer or a simple smilee face.
I tried playing it cool. I went days without texting, I made sure that my text response times weren’t too quick. But no matter what I did, it seemed that she had the upper hand.
Finally I texted her today to let her know that I would be on vacation for two weeks. She wished me a safe trip and said she would see me when I returned. And that’s when the insecurity of the married man — the guy so unfamiliar with the games single people play — reared its ugly head.
“I hate to ask this but have I done anything wrong since two Saturdays ago? You are a mystery to me, miss!”
“No I’ve just been really busy,” she replied. “And besides, what’s so wrong with a little mystery?”
I smiled and recalled my life before marriage. With uncertainty comes anticipation and excitement.
And yes indeed…a little bit of mystery. 🙂
Re-Making Love 